Chronicles

I think i spelled that right. So i just watched a really good movie tonight and it has inspired me an idea. I want to make a documentary of my life from the past 2 years. I know the past is in the past but i can go back and look at my journals and recall everything that has gone on. I think it would be good for me.  It's a reflection piece. I almost just want to go back as far as i can remember and just see how good or how bad my life really is or was. 

I think about my life and i really can't think of anything. But when i do think of my life i think of it as such a negative. Maybe it will help me understand the way i am. Maybe it will help other people understand the way i am. Maybe i will actually feel some purpose in my life for once.

I feel in my life that everything i enter turns into a distaster. I just think that everything i come into i just ruin one way or another. I hurt a lot of people without knowing it until it's too late. Everything in my life i feel is never good enough. I feel that i will always be alone because i never let anyone in. I always feel alone. My life is miserable and i wonder if i just feel like it's ok to be that way because i have always felt that way.

So anyways back on topic. 1st off i need a video camera so i guess i will have to send some emails out and see if anyone will let me borrow it. I think i can use my iLife to edit it. 

We'll see what happens......