Today i get to go home until Friday. I hop the pugs get me out of this depression. They are the only things that maybe able to get me out.
I tried talked to G last night but got interrupted which sucked. I just feel horrible and i want to cry. J came up to me in bed and tried to talk to me but of course i didn't say anything and this means i am def not ready to go. When i get back i will try to force myself to talk to someone if i am still feeling awful.
I don't really care that i am leaving on pass. Staff asked me if i am excited and i just tell them yes. I still have to pack but my bags are in storage.
Skipped Empowerment today if there was one today. Instead i headed to the library. Then J came down and told me i didn't sign out so i had to go back with the rec room people. I checked my sign out sheet and it said i did sign out.
I maybe at one of my lowest points of my depression right now. Went down and took a shower and i cried for over 10 minutes. Im having such a tough time right now and things i just want to get through are going to be so tough.
Being upstairs is a little bit of a comfort at home right now. I'm watching Red Eye on HBO and im talking to Deb on my phone. Im just trying to calm down and keep myself from freaking out again. I texted D asking him to maybe bring me back to the hospital if i am still feeling this way. I will try my best to get through Thanksgiving.
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